Procrastive

Currently listening:

Rabbit Fur Coat

By Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins

           

PROCRASTIVE

I am sitting here, where I am sitting and I am going through the stages of procrastination, that this time meant actually baking a chocolate cake.

So, I guess you could say that I am evolving to greater heights with my procrastination.

So, instead of writing words and phrases and sentences about what I got out of Raymond Carver's story or Lorrie Moore's that I haven't finished yet, I am baking a cake, emailing my wonderful friend and re-burning a picture cd so I can print out photos for an album I was supposed to send my beautiful friend in France.

Well, at least I'm growing.

But I think I need professional help. Maybe a Procrastinator Therapist. Maybe she/he could prescribe some medicine for this condition. PROCRASTIVE- take by mouth seven times a day.

Better yet, I could invent a new condition...Procrastinative Anxiety Disorder(PAD). And like Restless Leg Syndrome(RLS) before, I could air commercials testifying to the validity of such a disorder with testimonials from real people and how they live normal, productive lives after taking the maximum dosage of PROCRASTIVE. I can see it now.

But, the cake brought me a realization about art.

So often results trump process in creating art. Maybe it is because we get so excited to visualize the final product rather than how we are going to achieve that result. Maybe it's just me and my wayward path I have been traveling as far as getting things done. I often start so many projects that the process becomes the challenge; a fire that I have to put out before starting the other fire over there. There are things in my life that fall to the wayside and don't get finished, my projects are not one of those things. Friendships, family, relationships, personal happiness, It just takes longer and I wonder if I'm giving it all of the time deserved to each. How could I?

it is now 11:58PM this same sunday and here i sit, i have done every other possible thing other than my homework. it's become comedy, the big joke that keeps me splashing in buckets of hope that tomorrow starts another week and that is the week that I get everything done in time or start meditating to focus my overactive brain. Or focus my energies completely on another project altogether, nose to the grindstone , shoulder to the wheel, hunkering down, gettin' to work, get 'er done.

It amazes me sometimes at the honest hour of midnight how I could get all I have to get done, why do I not then get work done in an hour then it wouldn't hang over my head like a heavy, sharp blade torturing me for seven days.