(Read: Buddy Wakefield Live for Living)

Ambition

Is ambition blind?

I feel I’m the blind one when it comes to the elusive thing. I am surrounded by movers and shakers, performers, thinkers, those proud folks that make things happen. It makes me want to find the origin of this thing.Was I ever ambitious? No, I don’t think I was; in fact I believe I’ve spent most of my life running away from it, uncomfortable with the fact that if I’m succeeding than there is a person out there that has been passed over.

That’s when I was younger when all I had to do was wake up and find the new poem festering in my heart or maybe where my next meal was coming from. A time when I felt that there was enough for everybody out there so why the fight? It’s very different today. It feels that I have more at stake these days, more that’s passing me by. So little time so much beauty and pain to endure and experience. Time runs out. Used to be I was the one running things, or so I thought. The folly of youth, the innocence of magical thinking. What now? I’m in this place now where I’ve studied this craft and it just so happens that it is a career that is one of the most competitive.  How did that happen? How did that happen? I guess I must have lost my grip on my tightly prepared plans for the future. They have unraveled. They lay at my feet at the bottom the be. I spent years kicking at it and trying to gather it up at the same time. I was embarrassed of it and the time I spent away from it. I was embarrassed that I made them at all. Now what? I dunno. Break out the booze and let’s have a ball?